Fortune Cookie/Texts
All Fortune Cookie texts from Shadow Warrior Classic, Wanton Destruction, Twin Dragon, Shadow Warrior (2013) and Shadow Warrior 2. Classic * "Sorry, you no win this time, try again." * "Baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk." * "No man is island, except Lo Wang." * "You should kill all business associates." * "You should not scratch yourself there." * "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot." * "Man who buy drowned cat pay for wet pussy." * "Don't you know you the scum of society?!" * "Man trapped in pantry has ass in jam." * "You never going to score." * "You try harder get along. Be a nice man." * "26-31-43-82-16-29" * "Your chi attracts many chicks." * "Man who fart in church sit in own pew." * "It is better to have loved and lost than to have loved and got syphilis" * "There is much death in future." * "©1997, 3DRealms fortune cookie company." * "Courtesy is contagious. So is Gonorrhea" * "Having sex is like playing bridge, If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand." * "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you." * "No one ever died from a broken heart. But a heart sliced from their chest while they looked on screaming? Not gonna lie. That's killed a couple people." * "ERROR 404 - FORTUNE NOT FOUND" Shadow Warrior (2013) * Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best. - FZ * No one ever died of a broken heart. But a heart sliced from their chest while they look on screaming? Not gonna lie. That's killed a couple people. * A Wang in the hand is worth two in the bush. * You will stop procrastinating. Later. * Cardboard belt is a waist of paper. * The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is all a matter of taste. * Some days you're the pigeon. Other days you're the statue. Today is more of a statue day. * You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice. * Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you. * That's what ki said. * The good news: you're not paranoid. The bad news: everyone is actually trying to kill you. * Ingredients: wheat, sugar, lysergic acid diethylamide, yellow #5. * Small cookies bring great joy. * It is better to have loved and lost than to have had loved and gotten syphilis. * Cookie monster wasn't here. * It’s better to have love and loss than love and get syphlis. Shadow Warrior 2 * Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin * You're never too old to learn something stupid. * With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. * I love the smell of cookies in the morning. Smells like... Cookies. * The forecast calls for... Death? Yup. I'm just seeing a whole lot of death. Bummer for you, I guess. * 'Fućk Confucius'. - Bill Hicks. * * He who takes advice from a cookie is sure to crumble. * Confucius say it is easy to hate and difficult to love. Frankie say relax. * You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice. * Thank you Lo Wang! But your fortune is in another cookie! * All men eat, but Fu Man Chu. * Help! I am being held prisoner in a video game factory. * The good news: you're not paranoid. The bad news: everyone is actually trying to kill you. * You are not illiterate. * Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you. * Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a great hand. * The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is all a mater of taste. * Your mom says hi. * Add 'in bed' to this fortune to make it super sexy. In bed! * Lucky numbers: 23, 34, 42, 69, 666. * Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. * There is no cookie. * You're the best. Around. Nothing's ever going to keep you down. * It's time to kick áss and chew bubble gum. And... Oh look! Here's my gum! * * It is better to have loved and lost than to have had loved and gotten syphilis. * 404: Fortune not found. * ©2013 Flying Wild Fortune Cookie Company. * A Wang in the hand is worth two in the bush. * Ingredients: wheat, sugar, lysergic acid diethylamide, yellow #5. * These aren't the cookies you're looking for. * Some mistakes are too fun to make only once. * Courtesy is contagious. So is gonorrhea. * The Wang abides. * No one ever died of a broken heart. But a heart sliced from their chest while they look on screaming? Not gonna lie. That's killed a couple people. * Whoever coined the phrase 'quiet as a mouse' never stepped on one. * What's a seven-letter word for 'cryptic'? * You will find a fortune cookie. * Cookie Monster wasn't here. * That's what Ki said. * No Wang is an island. * This is my katana, this is my gun. One for killing, the other's for... OK, the other's also for killing. * Live Wang and prosper. * Some days you're the pigeon, other days you're the statue. Today is more of a statue day. * Fortune favors those who shoot the bold right in their stupid bold faces. * All your cookie belong to us. * Live each day like it's your last. Or at least today, because... Oh I don't want to spoil it. * Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people look brilliant, until you hear them speak. * Chew, or chew not. There is no pie. * Cardboard belt is a waist of paper. * To maintain perfect accuracy, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. * The early bird gets the worm. The second mouse gets cheese. * Baseball has it wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk. * You will stop procrastinating. Later. * To be is to do. - Socrates To do is to be. - Sarte Do be do be do. - Sinatra * Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. * Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best. - FZ * Man who drops soap in prison shower is super bummed. * There can be only Wang. * You will be attacked by demons. * Small cookies bring great joy. * That's all, folks! Don't toss your cookies! Category:Quotes